Bat Stuff

By Janice Hines

(As with any publication that deals strictly with one subject there is always the possibility that it can have a biased view of the world. So that it could never be said of this newsletter, I have enlisted the aid of my trusted secretary Janice to write an occasional essay on what else..Batman stuff. Now let it be known that Janice does not collect or otherwise has no connection with the caped crusader other than being forced to listen to my rantings regarding some Batnews or toy that I got or didn't get. She does this of her own free will, and the only compensation she receives is my gratitude........

.....and a lunch for every piece she writes.......)

All right, so he wants me to start out with something simple. So for this first attempt he's just shown me a picture of an ad for an empty Batman toy box that someone is trying to sell for $1500. Oh yeah, empty box; $1500, just give me a minute so I can get my purse.... What are you crazy! Hello? It's an empty box. A couple pieces of cardboard with a guy in a leotard prancing about it. Funny, Carlos doesn't look the type......

Anyway, Yeah, yeah, yeah, empty box SO WHATS THE BIG DEAL? Big mistake on my part because he proceeds to tell all about some Ideal Co. that put out a rare Batbelt in the 1960's. 1960's? I would have bet that as far as he's concerned, the 60's were a blur of bell bottoms and free love. Not to mention the assorted illegal recreational activities he must have participated in ....Hummm, I wonder if he inhaled.....Back to the confounded belt. Apparently it came with a lot of accessories including batcuffs and all that. Ooh wow batcuffs. Finally something a 90's girl can use. I wrestle my mind out of the gutter and continue hearing about the supposed "Holy Grail" of Bat fools like himself. About this time I make it a point to glance at my reflection in my mirror, determined to never again have a look on my face that gave him the impression that I cared to hear about this in the first place. The phone rings and luckily its about him. A meeting in ten minutes that requires his attendance; Yes there is a God. I'll have to remember to put a little extra in the collection plate this week. Before he leaves I do make it a point to ask him if he would pay that much for it if he had the chance. "Sure" he says, "but I could never let my wife find out or she'd stick me like a pig".

Humm...I think to myself. I'll have to save that little tidbit of information when my yearly evaluation comes about, or if I'm ever feeling particularly bored one day for that matter; We secretaries are such a devilish lot......

I wonder if the lobster is good today...........