Did you ever wonder why dearest Oswald was such a lucky guy with the ladies? And I'm not talking about that pitiful excuse of a troll from Batman Returns either. I'm talking about the early comic and 60's TV show Penguin.
The real Penguin; the one we all grew up with. The guy who always had the ability to swoon some rich socialite out of a couple mil without the least amount of effort. But hey Carlos, he was a dapper kind of guy, he had all the moves, he knew just how to treat a lady. Well that all may be well and true but even dressed in a tuxedo he still looked like a fat little man with a big nose... Eureka! And there was his secret! Why was he such a stud puppy? Because of that LONG slender nose. Hey, I've read Cosmo, I know what modern ladies think.. (Sandra help me out here..)
Now I know that, today size has nothing to do with it and technique is what counts, but remember we are talking 60's here folks... We were right in the middle of the sexual revolution and apparently Penguin's nose was the shining beacon of lust spearheading the drive for millions of pre-adolescent viewers. Oh sure, back then you were young and didn't realize, but where do you think that the whole sexual "size" issue originated from? Right there people! Twice a week, under your very er..noses. Your fellow boys and girls were brainwashed into thinking that size was everything. You don't think so?
Well indulge me for the moment... For those of you who took introductory Psych you might recall that a child's first instinct is to look at your face as you talk. So you're watching the Batman TV show in the 60's, Penguin starts talking and your eyes go straight to his face. And what do we find there? That elongated nose. Couple that with some Freudian crap you were going through with respect to crushes on your parents and the fact that Penguin gets all the girls and Bingo...There ya go. Just answer me this; try to remember another Batman TV show villain who consistently had more babes on his arms.... You can't. Why? Its the nose.
Lets not forget his ever-present umbrella either. Oh it all is becoming so crystal clear now. Here's this guy right, and he has these umbrellas that can do all these "special" tricks. Yep, We're talking long dong Penguin here folks...A couple hours with ol' Pengy and every woman was his "love slave".
I don't know, maybe I'm wrong (perhaps). Maybe I'm just seeing too much meaning in to the show (probably). Maybe I'm making up for some of my own physical shortcomings ...Er, no, not that one. Nope not me; like a horse people.... In any event, I bet you won't be looking at another Burgess
Meredith episode in the same way for some time to come.. Gee, next time I watch I'll have to see if he has big feet......Yep, thats what I think about...
C.